Grammatical Unwieldy-ness From the Baltimore Guide’s Police Blotter

If you’re a dumbass committing a crime, the Guide will report it…a little.

Does this make sense to you…I mean, I get what happened…but it’s like a whole sentence is missing.

S. Highland Ave., 800 block, June 26, 11:30 p.m. A man reported that while walking home, he was approached by two men who robbed him at gun point. During the investigation, a bar owner told police that the victim had left with a six-pack of beer.

I guess that while police were investigating they managed to talk to a bar owner who was all like, “Oh yeah, he got robbed?!  Well that son-of-a-bitch stole a 6 pack from me!!”  What did the two men take? Money? Cell phone? A six pack?  Did “the victim” talk to the police while holding the 6 pack that the bar owner said he stole…or even better, was he DRINKING a 6 pack while reporting those who trespassed against him?

Maybe I don’t get what happened.

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About scottcarberry

I'm one nifty dude who is fascinated by his hometown; Baltimore, MD. It is persistently beautiful and ugly and I wish to live nowhere else ever again.
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2 Responses to Grammatical Unwieldy-ness From the Baltimore Guide’s Police Blotter

  1. Andrew says:

    No, I don’t get it either. Funny though still.

    • Normally the crimes are sillier and reported more cogently. It’s probable incompleteness makes my mind reel with weird possibilities. You are in Long Beach, CA, i presume?

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