Here are a few favorites from the Baltimore Guide’s “Neighborhood Watch” column, which is essentially a new name for the Police Blotter.
Eastern Avenue, 3500 block, March 13, 2:59 pm. Police responded to the report of an attempted robbery at a mattress store and was arrested a suspect. It was revealed the man had entered and demanded money. An employee beat the man with a table leg and kept him cornered until police arrived.
My question is, well, it’s a mattress store right, so they just have table legs laying around?
This next one involves household chores.
S. Washington St, 100 block, March 3, 2:30 am. A man and his ex girlfriend argued about doing laundry. The ex boyfriend attacked her blankets and pillows and the woman locked him inside the bedroom and attempted to leave. The ex boyfriend kicked open the door and attacked the woman. The then went to sleep in different areas of the house. The next day the woman contacted police and a warrant was issued for his arrest.
DON’T DO LAUNDRY WITH YOUR EX!
This next one is my favorite.
Orleans Street, 2300 block, March 15, 10:20 pm. Someone entered a home by breaking open a rear door. Nothing was taken but some of the furniture was slightly rearranged.
WARNING!! There is a criminally minded interior decorator on the loose on Orleans St. He has a taste for breaking and entering and Feng Shui.
If you ever see a copy of the Baltimore Guide, pick it up and delight yourself for 20 minutes.